Rolling Stone's Gay As Hell Top 100 Guitarists List

I am now officially convinced that the people at Rolling Stone are total dumbasses. Not only did they ruin a perfectly amazing July 14, 2005 Jessica Alba cover by covering up part of her boob with 'The Killers,' but they have the gayest, most blatantly wrong list ever made. Their list of top 100 guitar players, which I just found although it came out a while ago, is the gayest fucking thing I have ever wasted time on. Here's a few of the countless errors:

At #9- Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin
Needs to be in top 5. His solos saved so many Led Zeppelin songs. He was amazing enough for ninth place to be an insult.

#10- Keith Richards of Rolling Stones
He wasn't bad, but there is no way in hell he's in the top 10. He was a good rhythm guitarist, and need someone to push him down the list.

#12- Kurt Cobain of Nirvana
WTF?!? Looks like Rolling Stone hired a waterhead to pick the #12 spot, because I consider myself a better guitar player than Kurt Cobain. I think the amazing guitar players that he's ahead of should form a gang, dig him up, and beat the shit out of his dead body. If Richards needs someone to push him down the list, Cobain needs someone to bitchslap him clean off of it.

#16- Johnny Ramone of The Ramones
Considering that anyone can learn any Ramones song in less than 5 minutes, I don't think this is very accurate.

#17- Jack White of The White Stripes
WAY too high. Unlike Cobain, I agree he should be actually on the list, but top 20? No way. Not even in the top 75.

#26- Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine
His stuff can be repetitive, but rather than conform to what everyone else was doing with a guitar, he created a style of playing that no one else does better. Needs to be higher.

#27- Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits
He played without a pick, and recorded the best of his stuff when he was a teenager. Put him up WAY higher.

#39- Brian May of Queen
Higher, god damn it. Brian May could outplay most of the people ahead of him while he kicked all their asses.

#70- Eddie Van Halen of Van Halen
When I saw this, I had the sudden urge to kill everyone who has ever been associated with Rolling Stone. WTF? If only Eddie had just followed guitarists who were greater than him, such as Kurt Cobain and Jack White, then maybe he could have scored higher on this list. But instead, he chose to invent a style of playing, become the best guitar player of his era, and become the inspiration to thousands of guitar players. Eddie Van Halen could blow out of his ass onto a guitar and it would sound better than most of the Top 10 of this list. How about the people at Rolling Stone stop being douche bags and hire someone who actually knows something about music?

#85- Randy Rhoads-Ozzy Osbourne
Another case of way too low for some reason that only Rolling Stone seems to get. If he hadn't died, I think he would have been top 15, even on a list as douchey as this.

#87- Joan Jett of Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Well, there's the token woman of the list. No matter that all 13 of the people below her could outplay her with one hand, it just matters that now we know Rolling Stone isn't sexist. Congratulations, you're all dicks.

#96- Angus Young of AC/DC
Why does everyone underrate him? He's a great guitar player, but apparently choosing to concentrate on great riffs and amazing songs instead of showing off constantly makes everyone think you suck. Way to go, everyone. Angus Young is kickass.